March 16, 2009

the nobility of brown

This post goes out to all you humps who like to badmouth carp, roughfish, and any other angler pursuing the non-salmonid, fuck you. You know who I'm talking about; all you knuckle-draggers out there needlessly killing fish for "sport" and record. And you, the chump who'll take the bait from the industry, convinced that the act of pursuing exotic species like taimen in Mongolia is a more noble excursion than the domestic buglemouth, simply because of the adipose. Thanks for spreading didymo and New Zealand mud snails around the globe you fucks.

After thumbing through about a dozen stacked up issues from the various fly fishing rags the other day, it is apparent of the brainwashing that plagues the sport. The mindtrap solely exists as a means of self-preservation, in an industry that lacks ingenuity and progressive thought, not worthy of the foresight that begets evolutionary advancement. A tight line is a fucking tightline. Get over it. Instead of trying to grab a collective agreement by all those who wield the long rod, the war machine instead dumps on all those who do not conform to their standards, including other members of the fly society. This lets other cohorts pick you apart, decrying you of your social validity and championing you as a fundamentalist association of elitism and snobbery.

So, for all those who chase tail with disregard for the adipose, we welcome you. Stand up and enjoy the flavor of brownliner country. Join the voices of liberty and justice. We pass no judgment on fellow patriots with regard to their quarry; we embrace followers of the single and double handed disciplines. Storm the waters with impunity and serve your republic proud.

Propaganda courtesy of Brownline Ambassador Alex Landeen.

Welcome to the Brownline Nation. The revolution is coming to a town near you.

- Minister of Brownline Affairs, the roughfisher

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  1. Right on brother. There's so much challenging fly fishing out there that has nothing to do with trout or heli-fishing or $12,000 trips.

    Probably one of the wariest, hardest to fool fishes I've stalked on fly is the lowly and much maligned import snakehead. Granted, it's an invasive species but it proves your point.

  2. I fly fish for all manner of species,Pike,Asp,Roach,Carp and have even targeted Chubb on the odd occasion, and loved every fucking minute of it. I cant tell you how many ignorant twats come up to over here in Finland and tell me "there are better ways of Catching a pike than on a fly", "and why would I want to waist my time with such a rubbish species anyway"........if only they knew!

  3. Great points all around.... too bad you couldn't make them without the swearing.... DK

  4. AMEN
    Best post i've seen in a long while. Other than mine of course............... JK

    Dougie, does the swearing hurt your fucking eyes?

  5. If the point of fly fishing was social validation, we'd all be ex-investment bankers right now. What is the that there is none. The sport should allow everyone to find their own way, not pigeon-hole them with purist's ideals. It should be a many-to-many relationship, not individual factions fighting for their particular way of life. Kindred always trumps hatred.

    I find it altogether fascinating that the industry still doesn't get it, and it's far and away the reason why I don't buy the rags anymore. They are happily choking on Fly Fishing Fundamentalism, and when the backlash becomes apparent they just take another helping of rotting meat from the plate.

    And JPL, while I found your point about 'killing' and 'records' slightly resembling the same meme you portend to despise, I must say I'm also guilty letting the 'trap' get to my own head - I now have dreams of running over football field-sized swathes of bamboo fly rods, just for spite.

  6. Good Stuff J.P.
    I cast flies for drift wood in the spring, it really shouldn't matter what your casting for. While it's old news that the industry is seriously F&ucked, I feel like this post was long overdue.It feels like retired doctors who fish for trout in New Zealand dominate way more than they deserve.
    This past summer I hooked on a MONSTER chub while casting above a deep pool. This thing fought harder than almost any trout or salmon I caught all year.
    Also, If you made that brownliners Logo your my hero.
    Peace Carp Godfather

  7. P.S.--^^^You've earned tomorrows link in Up'North's "Mornin Coffee"-Trophy and cookies are in the mail.

  8. So I spent today chasing (and catching) adipose-equipped browns, in some very snowmelt addled brown water. Tomorrow I think I'll do some true brownline prospecting around Minneapolis. Is it ok to be bi?

  9. Looks like there are a fair amount of anglers out there that haven't drank the kool-aid either. Keep the Faith.

    @MG my comments on killing were more geared to the arrow chuckers and all other clowns who wantonly kill and waste. I see no problem with killing for consumption, provided the fish was harvested humanely and is legal for possession. I just hate all the disrespect in society you see out there against fish and life in general. I'm still not convinced on the whole record/IGFA thing though.

    @Ben, Alex Landeen made the logo (see the caption)

    @Bill you can be bi, tri, multi, whatever you'd like. I don't care if anyone fishes for trout, it's when you give me a hard time for fishing carp and give me the "apostle's creed" is where I have the problem.

  10. ahh Silly mee. Too excited to read the fine print!

  11. Here I sit, thinking about this... and I can half-assed conclude the following: I won't rip on a person for pursuing a given fish specie, because I figure they're all part of the life aquatic and I love every one of those scaled fukkers. All of them. I may however, rip or poke just a bit here or there on a particular method of pursuit of any given fish. This latter item is of our choosing, and IMO some are more noble than others... and therefore method is more criticizable than quarry.

  12. @WB exactly. that's why bait fishermen exist. so we can ride them like a rented mule.

  13. and, I will still make fun of anyone who exclusively pursues walleye. Morons

  14. "and, I will still make fun of anyone who exclusively pursues walleye. Morons"-JPL


  15. Now all we need is a couple dozen fellows willing to strap some TNT to their midriff and become martyrs!

    Heaven contains 40 species of fish never having graced a hook...

    Kidding, dammit - just kidding.

  16. I know I'm going to regret it, but I gotta ask: who exactly are we railing against today?

    I mean, there are brownblogs all over the place, Orvis ran a picture of Conway Bowman kissing a carp, the Wall Street Journal just ran a brownliner piece, "The Brown Water Boys" published a moderately successful book about the practice a couple years ago, somebody's selling a carp-specific fly line...

    I other words, who are we rebelling against?

    The industry's heart doesn't yet pump brown, but then, you don't exactly expect that stuff to turn around in a day, and besides, once it does, most of you will end complaining about all the people on your water (the same way I complained about the fly fishers flooding the Upper Sac for the October Caddis hatch).

    I'm all for fight the power and stick it to the man, but I just don't see one here, and I have sneaking suspicion - after "A brownish, warmish, filthy river runs through it" is made - that you're going to wish you'd kinda kept the whole thing quiet.

  17. The good fight isn't even so much about the industry, though they still have much to learn about being "progressive". It's more about breaking the mold in traditional bait and fish strongholds like Minnesota, where walleye is the king and lindy rigs are the lure of choice. Nonetheless, just because there is more of a presence of brown in the industry than there was a decade ago, doesn't mean they should be let off the hook. Just because they market to brownliners, doesn't mean they respect them. There's no doubt that there's a lot more publicity these days for brownlining. I just hate getting the evil stare and disappointment from other local anglers when they find out I caught that carp on purpose. Hell, I get blank stares from most people when I tell them I fly fish for carp. Fishing is getting selectively bred out of the genes of the youth of today.

    I think all we are looking for here is some respect, not a mass conversion to fishing the ways of the brownline. I like diversity.