Roadside Treasures: Morality Check

Hypotheticals:
You find a fresh roadkill in the morning hours, victim of someone's commute to work. Normally it's a no-brainer situation; you pull over, grab the critter, and process the fur/feathers when you get a chance, further down the road. But what happens when the animal is protected or closed to possession? It's already dead right?

What do you do?


The Score:
The ring-necked pheasant is a treasure trove of feathers and hackle to the casual fly tyer. Everyday patterns like the PT Nymph would not be possible were it not for the beautifully barbed tail feathers from a rooster ringneck. Aside from the vibrant and iridescent flank and rump feathers, however, there isn't a ton of uses/patterns for the remaining feathers off of the rooster. Enter the hen ringneck. While much more subdued in coloration, the tan, cream, and brown-mottled feathers of the hen contain some wonderful soft hackles, even rivaling those of the Hungarian Partridge. While legal for purchase stateside, hen ring-necked pheasant skins are much harder to find off the rack, and the $15 to $30 price tag can be a bit hard to swallow for a female ditch parrot. And everyone knows that the feather quality of shot birds is second to none over those chemically treated commercial skins.

Legalese:
Minnesota Rule states that only cock roosters may be taken (albeit by firearm or bow and arrow), whereas State Statute provides contradictory language, such that "A person may not take more than one hen pheasant in one day or possess more than two hen pheasants". Which supersedes which, Statute or Rule? Of course, the regulations booklet trumps all, stating that "Road-killed animals may not be legally possessed, except by special permit from a DNR conservation officer, state patrol, county sheriff or other law enforcement officer."

So what do you do? Do you take the bird and secretly pluck and "possess" the feathers off the hen, I mean, It's already dead right? No harm, no foul? Or do you leave the bird lay, as it's just not worth the risk of getting caught for possession?


That's what I thought....

Caveat Emptor: The author, nor roughfisher.com, condone the breaking of any federal or state game and fish laws. 
Take the post for what it's worth. No statutes, laws, or rules were broken for the creation and purpose of this post.

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the roughfisher quiz: Are you a REAL dirtbag?

Do you have what it takes to be a dirtbag? Take the quiz and find out for yourself.


1) How many days did you spend on the water last year?

a. 1, and that was only to retrieve your ball from a water hazard.
b. 5. It would have been more if momma let you out of the house more.
c. 39, and you wrote about every outing on your blog.
d. I've been in the water so much I'm growing a goddamn set of gills.

2) Your perfect rod:

a. The classic feel of split cane.
b. I loves me some glass!
c. The newest extra-super fast Z[Be+C]/n⁹⁹ Beryllium composite rod from Sage.
d. Whatever I can afford without the Missus finding out.

3) Reading material found on the coffee table:

a. Gray's Sporting Journal
b. The Onion
c. The Drake
d. Juggs, and it rests next to the throne.

4) You're favorite online fishing site:

a. Moldy Chum
b. the Trout Underground
c. Buster Wants to Fish
d. What the fuck is the interwebs?

5) Your favorite music:

a. Classic Rock; everybody knows rock attained perfection in 1974.
b. Country AND Western
c. Anything with "Jerry" in it, man.
d. Trick question, they're all good.

6) You're idea of the perfect woman is:

a. Mom
b. Lee Press-Ons and a kickin' badonkadonk butt
c. Someone who can pay the bills
d. A's, B's, DDD's, perky ones, saggy ones; it don't matter as long as her husband doesn't find out

7) How many days did you miss from work to go fishing?

a. None, Momma had you working OT so you could take time off when Junior arrives.
b. 5. And they were all approved vacation leave.
c. 9, that they know about.
d. You plead the 5th.

8) Your favorite type of porno:

a. Midgets and dwarfs
b. BDSM
c. Lesbians
d. Anything with a little fin. And big tits.

9) Which one of the following is a good beer?

a. Coors Banquet Beer
b. Pabst Blue Ribbon
c. Hurricane High Gravity
d. Trick question, they all are rank, but you celebrate the entire collection anyway.

10) You've been on the water all day and are down to your last couple bucks. You're McStarving but could also go for chasing down a cold one. You can't afford to do both, what do you do?

a. Skip the booze, and opt for the meal; it's just empty calories anyway.
b. Beer dude. Nothing better than a liquid diet. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
c. Sit on the street corner begging for spare change until you have enough for both.
d. Hit the gas station and blow the entire wad on a XXL red hot beef & bean burrito with extra hot sauce. Wait until she's a brewin', real fermented like, and let her rip. Wait for the clerk to pass out and grab a couple of 40 ounces for the road.

If you answered D to all of the above, congratulations! You're true brownliner material and a real fucking dirtbag. Nice going! The rest of you all have some serious work to do.