It has been a long time since I've held the reins and dug in the spurs. Life has been a distraction over the past year and it took me until recently to realize that I had lost my edge. Not for lack of skill or ability mind you, as even under the limited time I spent on the water last season I was still able to perform with my tool and succeed at fooling fish in difficult conditions when others had failed. Instead, as I withdrew from angling in order to deal with the demons on the domestic front, I've felt my grip slipping, my pulse within the fly fishing community become weaker.
Neglect a blog for a year and it is only natural that readers and viewership will drop off. With nary a reason for cause the abandonment began, perhaps many chalking it up to another typical fly fishing blog that faded away like a dying sun. Even while the screen lay dark with no new blog posts in weeks, I still stayed busy behind the tungsten curtain filling custom fly orders, perhaps the only thing that kept me from a descent into madness. The die-hard legions and crew have always held steadfast, even if unknowingly why. And an even smaller select few were actually privy to the depths of the chaos and turmoil. Yet, the need for a voice, an outlet for the roughfishermen, still exists. While I may have fallen from common conversation among the bloggers, the industry, or whomever else is responsible for creating buzz within the fly fishing community, it doesn't mean that I am down and out, or face down in the gutter.
I feel that I am just as valid as the day I started blogging about roughfish on the fly, perhaps even more so. In just the span of the last few years, I've watched the interest in carp on the fly grow, as well as become more acceptable to the mainstream. Not that myself, or anyone else who carp fishes for that matter, is looking for any validity from anyone. Maybe we're just the annoying kid in the back of the classroom that babbles on about everything about everything, including carp on the fly, in hopes that someone is listening. Regardless, it has become apparent that some are listening. Even during my unscheduled sabbatical, I was still getting inquiries from folks, and even a few compliments. I just want to say thank you to everyone out there who was listening.
I'm working on getting back my mojo, getting back to the top of my game. I'm not seeking fame. I'm not seeking fortune. I could care less if I'm any better known than I was a year ago. I could care less if I get published again. I could care less to see my face on the cover of a magazine or on the television screen. I just want to get back into my groove behind the vise and start producing those twisted patterns that helped earn me my success. If last year was the year of the Carp Crack, then this year will be the year of the Mustache Ride. I'm just looking to get back to where I was before I fell from grace. I'm not doing this for anyone except myself. After all, I'm just a guy who loves to fish.