January 10, 2013

Reality Bites

I recently did a guest post for the Scientific Anglers & Ross Reels Insider blog, encouraging folks to hit up the Fly Fishing Film Tour, a highly successful and well attended event held at theaters across the country. While the rationale listed are compelling enough to head out to the show, here's what really happens at the F3T.

Listed are the reasons published on the SA/Ross Insider blog followed by my repsonse.
1. An evening packed with fly fishing footage captured in near every corner of the planet chasing foreign as well as familiar species of fish is always a great time, and a great way to get excited for the upcoming season. It is always interesting to see how the action is captured from the different perspectives of the cameraman and director.
For half the show you're sitting in your seat wondering where in the world is Uzbekitajikikurdistan and why in the hell did they travel all that way to fish for stocker rainbows? The other half you're wondering if everyone in the film is stoned the whole time, how did they pass through customs, how did they get any sponsors to pick up the tab for this film, and how do I get in on this racket? Show us something really bold and daring, like fishing the muni cesspool for mutant cyprinids.

2. The F3T is a great place to catch up with friends, reconnect with old acquaintances, and meet some new folks, possibly even future fishing buddies.
The F3T is a great place to see wannabees, Orvis boys, hacks, and washed up old guides hitting on little duck lipped girls, cougars, pumas, divorcees, Stage 5 clingers, and anything else with a pulse. Even more entertainment when the burnouts are trying to score with industry gals who are way out of their league. Word from the underground has it that April Vokey will be making a cameo at this year's tour stop.

3. Your ticket will get you access to great SWAG and killer prizes from the tour sponsors during the show, as well as sweet discounts at participating fly shops across the country.
Watch from the crowd as some clueless first timer newbie walks up on stage to claim the grand prize of an all expense paid guided trip to the tropics or the newfangled, industry over-hyped rod and reel. If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. I'll stick to my F3T swag trucker hat thank you very much.

4. The F3T road crew are an eclectic group of passionate, die hard anglers. These guys are true road warriors and have fished across many borders. Their fishing adventures are unforgettable and their exploits from the road are even more legendary. If you get the opportunity, don’t pass up the chance to shoot the breeze with one of these colorful characters.
I've witnessed firsthand folks playing pimp for some of the tour members, hooking them up with everything from women to weed. When last call comes around, you'll be sure to find these guys getting swept out the door. Rode hard and put away wet. Don't drop the soap!

5. Unless you’re fortunate to live in a warm climate with access to year-round fishing, or have got a hot tropical trip lined up for the winter, is there really anymore reason to leave the snowy, icy grip of winter behind for the evening and talk fishing?
Do you really need an excuse to get out of the house and get hammered on cheap watered down beer, making a complete and utter fool of yourself in public? I bet you a Hurricane High Gravity you don't.

brotherly love
Everybody have fun and I hope to see you all at the F3T in Minneapolis this year! Stay classy, Minnesota.


  1. Way too true. Way too funny. JP rips the thin veneer of respectability off the F3T package and gives us a whole new way to be amused during our attendance. I can't wait.

  2. You hit this out of the park. Right on.

  3. This is great. I like the part about a noob getting some awesome prize. Usually someone who thinks bonefish is a sexual reference.